It’s now been a week off the job and I feel I’ve gotten back into the habit of writing enough to start a short for KDP publication.
Which brings us to:
I need to sit down and actually write the damn thing. I’m not unfamiliar with the process and I know which steps need to take place:
- E-Book formatting
Maybe it’s staring at a blank page, the time it’s been since I last wrote, the variety of genres/pen names I want to write under or a mix of all three, but I’m having real difficulty starting an idea and running with it.
I wouldn’t say it’s writer’s block, because I personally don’t believe in such a thing, and it may have a bit more to do with my depression. My brain seems to be actively fighting against my own personal goals at every step of the way.
On the up side:
I’m medicated enough to fight it all. I’ve been keeping a list of daily accomplishments that I an look back on either throughout the day, at night, or even the end of the week to get a sense of what I’ve actually done.
And you know what?
I feel like I’ve done a lot the past week. I haven’t had the incredible sense of despair I had while working my normal job and I haven’t had a single panic attack. That’s saying a lot as I get the impression waking up one day and deciding to quit your job is a legitimate reason to give many healthy-brained people panic attacks!
I’ve also kept up with the blog. I wasn’t able to reach my goal of three articles a day yet, but I will. It’s more a matter of getting back into the habit of content generation at this point and less of the will or capacity to write each day.
Streaming has also been on track. I’ve streamed every night I said I would stream and even tried a few new things.
I streamed myself writing one of my posts, PS4 Pro 4.5 Update – Boost Mode? and had a lot of fun doing it. The viewers that participated in chat were regulars I’ve seen before, but I think they were more interested in how I write than anything. We had fun, played music using my !songrequest feature of Ankhbot and hung out.
It wasn’t a lot of motivation, but it certainly helped.
Sometimes, I’m going to get depressed and my mind is going to try to spiral into an obscenely dark depressive episode. I’m focusing real hard on ways to avoid that and writing and streaming is helping a lot.
I’m rambling a lot here and for that I apologize. I think I needed to let my scattershot brain kind of sort itself out before I really sat down and decided what I wanted to write tonight for a new e-book series.
You know what?
I think I’m going to spend some time tonight browsing the Kindle Top 100 of a few different genres, maybe read a couple, and then decide what to write from that. No minute in research is spent wasted, and I’m getting yawn-y to the point of being incapable of intelligently writing anyways. Guess that places me firmly at my first step mentioned above…